


Why do you care?

by Sppielles



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, slight self-hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sppielles/pseuds/Sppielles
Summary: Gordon feels like he's falling apart, benrey finally shows some sympathy.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 227





	Why do you care?

They needed to stop and rest.

Gordon kept replaying Dr. Coomers words in his mind. He knew that he was the reason behind that sudden suggestion. The concern in Dr. Coomers voice gave it away.  
His tired eyes fixated on his arm, looking at the place where his hand used to be. Now it's just gone and phantom pain was in it's place. He swore he could still sometimes feel like he could move his hand, stretch his fingers and grab things like he used to. His left hand grabbed at his wrist, eyes squeezed hard as sharp pain went up his arm. Using his left thumb he massaged the area, trying to ease the pain. A voice in his head was still questioning how was he still alive, why didn't he kill the traitors who did this to him, why does he trust them again. Slowly opening his eyes he stared ahead of himself, looking at Tommy laying on the ground sleeping. His knees were up to his chest, one arm under his head being used as a pillow while the other was stretched out, almost touching Bubby as he laid near him. Gordon could only see the white lab coat gently rising and falling, showing that the sientist was still breathing. Dr. Coomer was not far away from these two, laying on his back, loudly snoring. Gordon ran his good hand thru his hair and closed his eyes again, this time to colect himself and his mind. The pain in his right hand made it hard for him to do so but he couldn't do much about it, could he. He sucked in his breath as an image of his son popped into his mind. His young, bright eyes wide open in horror as he looked at his father, hand missing, covered in blood and dirt. His lips quivering as tears threatened to roll down his face. How was he going to explain this to him? Just casually walk up to him and tell him everything? He promised to be safe, to stay out of danger and now, with a missing hand and a blood filled past few days... Gordons breath was coming in short, sharp intakes as he remembered all the people they met. The innocent people they have killed or left to die. All the ,,clones", fear in Tommys face as he shot someone and explained with a stronger stutter than normal that ,, It's all instinct " and  
,, He's scared". Everything from the past few days came back all at once. The panic, as his mind finally processed how many times he looked death straight in the face. The strong guilt, as he thought about his son hearing that his father could have died. His left hand gripped his hair, pulling as he closed into himself, knees coming up to his chest so he could hide his face. He struggeled to breathe as his throat closed, letting out only pathetic sobs.

\- Yo, hey man what's going on - he felt a hand land on his shoulder before the words reached him, drowned in his heart beat that pounded in his ears. He flinched, not expecting anyone to be awake, and forced himself to look up at the person before him. He squinted at the dim light coming behind the persons head and tried to focus on their fetures.

\- Bro, hey! - little louder this time as the hand on his shoulder shook him. His eyes focused on the dark eyes that looked into his, hidden under a helmet... a helmet?

\- Benrey? - he croaked out, his throat dry.

\- What? Yes, who else you idiot?

The sarcasm had him weakly groan and try to push away from the guard, only to be stopped by the other hand coming to grab his other shoulder, trapping him. His throat closed againg in fear, his left hand untangling out od his hair to scratch at his throat. Thru the pounding in his ears he could hear his own voice calling him pathetic but he couldn't tell if it was in his head or out loud anymore. The hands at his shoulders relaxed and dipped down a little to massage the sore muscles. Gordon groaned again, this time in relief as his posture relaxed a bit.

\- What are you doing? I expected to see your ass asleep when I checked back on you guys. Why are you bitching out of a sudden? - Gordon furrowed his brows at this. A strong need to push Benrey overcame him, but the hands at his shoulders squezeed again and he just gave up.

\- Why do you care? - was his response to that.

His eyes focused again on Benreys face, a string of curiosity in him as guards eyes opened wider in surprise.

\- I don't.

\- Then go fuck yourself.

\- No, bro - his normally bitter tone turned into a half yell which hurt Gordons ears - I'm not gonna let you just sob here, you loser.

Gordon tried to push him away again with no avail. Benreys hands gripped at the HEV suit as he pulled the sientist close to his chest. Gordon didn't have the time to react as his position was flipped. He was now laying against Benreys dark vest with the guard laying in his former place, strong hands were on his back keeping him there and gently rubbing in slow circles. He fought againts relaxing for good five minutes before he gave up, laying his good hand on Benreys shoulder and nestling his head further into the dark vest. He could clearly hear a deep chuckle now that his heart beat calmed down. He closed his eyes and hummed as the hands on his back started to rub up and down his back, leaving him warm and feeling more cozy. The thought that he was still laying on Benreys chest made him a little confused and uneasy but not enough to start thrashing in his hands to try to get away. He was still upset with him, being one of the people that he can thank for losing his hand that was starting to hurt again. His left hand clenched on Benreys shoulder, knocking a surprised grunt out of the man, as Gordon tried not to pass out from pain. His nerves ached and burned, clawing their way up to his shivering forearm. The feeling of being able to move his missing hand came back again, confusing his tired mind more. He gasped as a sharp spike of pain went straight from his wrist to his head making him slightly light headed. Benrey tried to crane his head in a way he could look at Gordons face that was now half exposed, as he was laying on his right cheek. His hand came up to Gordons missing one and he grabbed his wrist, cringing at the quite howl that punched it's way out of sientists open mouth. His grip gently tightened in an attempt to ease the pain and stop the blood that starter to slowly ease out of the wound. They stayed like that for some time, Benrey with his neck bent at an uncomfortable angle to look at Gordons face that started to shift into it's normal ,, worried all the time " look.

\- You ok? - Benrey patted Gordons back as the guy didn't anwser him right away.

\- Mhmm... God I'm so tired.

\- Then sleep.

\- I'm not- I'm not tired in that sense. I'm tired of having to fight to survive, of having to be here - he pulled himself up a little to look at the guards face - And now I just feel like dead weight to you guys with my hand like this. I can't even goddam move fast because if I do I feel like I'll pass out.

\- I can carry you - Benreys eyes widened at the words that stumbled out of his mouth. _What the hell? Where did that even come from_? Gordon giggled at his reply which got Benrey to regain his cool a little bit - Know that if anything will attack us I will throw you as life bait.

\- You wouldn't dare - the threat in his voice was muffled by the smile that painted his tired face. Benrey thought that it suited him.

\- Oh yeah? Want to bet your hand on that? Oh wait, you can't.

Gordon laughed again, playfully smacking his good hand againts Benreys shoulder.

\- You should go to sleep tho, bro.

\- So should you.

\- Nah, I don't need sleep.

Gordon rolled his eyes and setteled back down onto Benreys chest. He mumbled something along the lines of ,, good night you ass" which made the guard smile a bit.  
He let Gordon sleep on him. It's not like he had anything better to do anyway. His hands came up to rest on the sientists back again as he looked up at the light bulb that wrapped the room with dim light. Before he lost himself in his thoughts, he ran a hand thru Gordons hair and quietly said:  
\- I do care you dumbass.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my english. I needed to get this out of my head and we need more comfort for Gordon. Feel free to point out my mistakes it will help me improve my work👍 and let me know if you guys want more stuff like this


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